My Love-Hate Relationship with Social Media

Over the past year, I found myself ebbing and flowing to those tiny little squares on my smartphone. I’ve deleted squares. I’ve reinstalled. I’ve deleted again. My muscle memory has developed to the point that I can open the apps without thinking. I love it. I hate it. I know I’m not the only one in a complicated social media relationship.

First off, I believe truly that social media is a tool (just like money). It can be used in a variety of ways, and mostly to connect to others via photos or videos, and on the rare occasion, a lengthy caption to accompany it. It’s a message board. It’s an art display. It’s a poster taped to the utility pole on a busy street. It’s a place for me to post pictures and write words for the world to see. 

But here’s where it gets complicated. Somewhere along the way, I got to the point where I stood in front of that large, endless bulletin board, looking at every cute and curated post, losing myself for hours on end because … well, I read there’s a science behind it—someone posted something about that once. And while I’m aware of the false dopamine hits, creation of scarcity mindsets, and endless comparison traps, I still find myself drawn to those little boxes on my smartphone. 

The truth is, I’ve built up my “connections” here. As an introvert, it’s so easy to connect with people behind the screen. I can do it on my own time, in my own way, and reveal only what I want to reveal. And yet, there’s that lull of loneliness after a scroll session…even with so many “friends.” 

As a writer, the dawning of social media was amazing. Here is this new (and FREE) platform where I could share my writing pieces with the world. I didn’t have to submit my words for publication consideration. Nor did I have to go through the painstaking process of writing a whole book with just a small idea. Social media allowed writers like me to publish their work in a space full of eager readers. 

But like many great new things, this public (and yet privately owned) space became absolutely saturated with every kind of writer and every kind of writing. The noise of social media has become deafening to the point of numbing. We scroll mindlessly, often only hitting a few meaningful posts. We laugh at things we once would have felt compassion or sadness for. We ignore the exploitation of people for how it makes us feel better about ourselves. And depending on what we’re ingesting, we can feel incredibly anxious or angry after just a few short minutes of scrolling. The detriment of social media and its addiction has broken my heart for humanity.

So you can see my dilemma. I love to connect with people and share my work over on social media, but at the same time, I hate the way that it sucks you into what could be a mindlessly numbing experience with false relationships and an increase in mental health hardships*. 

I’ve also found that as a writer, social media is very limiting. You are limited to 2220 or so characters. Oftentimes after writing, I’d find that I have to cut out a whole lot just to make the character count. And it’s good in a way, because for the most part, I do tend to include a lot of fluff and unnecessary words, but at the same time, sometimes there’s just not enough room to get the point I want to get across…across. (Cue: “see more in comments,” or “stay tuned for part two.”) 

I’ve found that after crafting my writing to the social media limitations/boundaries/box, that I really would rather write freely and in my own space where I’m not just part of the noise, but I have a purposeful place to house my writing. And lo and behold I actually have a space, my own space which I have actually spent money on to house my own writing. I have the freedom to edit and revise posts without changing the algorithm. I don’t need to find two or three sentences to cut out just to fit into the writing box. And I can offer fun things for my readers. People who land on my page are there intentionally and instead of the added pressure of addressing the masses, I can simply address my people: That’s you!

It’s like meeting at my house for coffee instead of at a super noisy and crowded coffee shop where we have to talk (shout?) over the din of the crowd, espresso machines, and uncomfortably loud music. Instead, it’s just you, me, maybe a couple other people, meeting out on the back deck with a cup of coffee, hot chocolate, or tea (whatever your vice). The mood is quieter. The laughter is genuine. The words are honest. It just feels right. The frenzy of the scroll has eased into invested conversation. Attention spans and patience run a little longer, and the joy found in the experience is less fleeting. 

So I’ve decided that more of my time will be spent here in this space focusing on you, dear reader, and I’ll spend less of my time battling for your attention in that discombobulated space of the internet. I pray that my words bring you hope and will inspire you to notice the lights in this dark world. As we navigate this ever-changing world, let this be a place where you can find peace and rest as we discover big and small miracles in our everyday life. I’ve got a lot to share with you, and I hope you feel comfortable sharing some things with me! 

Thanks for spending time with me, and I look forward to many more slow moments just like this.

Grace and peace.